


Unfortunate Circumstances

by BlakBriar



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Everyone is homesick, I think that's everything, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It's Lance, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith had a hard life, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance has anxiety, Oh also, Past Child Abuse, Pidge Uses They/Them Pronouns, So much Hance fluff, Synesthesia, Trans Character, lance is a trans boy, major angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9776837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlakBriar/pseuds/BlakBriar
Summary: After an accident during a fight with the Galra Lance and Keith are stuck in an unfortunate situation. Secrets are revealed and friendships tested. The team just wants everything to go back to normal. Sorry for this terrible summary.Set sometime during season one I think. Lot's of platonic bonding, relationships unknown at this point. I just like hurting my small bean Lance, I'm sorry.





	1. What The Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Hello peoples!  
> I haven't forgotten about my other fic, I just haven't been in the MLB mood, but the next chapter will be out before the month is over I promise! Anywho I hope you enjoy the first chapter of Unfortunate Circumstances.
> 
> ~BlakBriar

Keith

 

The first thing Keith noticed was the pain. He groaned and pressed a hand against his aching ribs. After a few minutes of labored breathing the sharp stabbing had nearly gone so he pushed himself up and opened his eyes. It was dark, he could barely see anything inside the lion. Space scrolled past slowly outside, like Red was spinning slightly.

“—Ladins? Come in, can— Paladins!” Allura’s voice was faint and full of static over the coms.

Shiro’s words were much clearer when he spoke, so at least Keith knew it was distance and not damage to his suit interfering with his line to the castle. “Allura, what happened? I’m okay but the Black Lion isn’t responding, it’s like she’s turned off. What’s everyone’s status?”

“I’m not— Shiro. You— Voltron, but then— explosion. The lions broke— radio silence. We— searching— 3 of your Earth hours. We’re— way” Keith hoped that Shiro had a better connection and had caught everything.

“Shiro it’s Pidge, the Green Lion is also powered down. I didn’t catch everything Allura just said, what happened?”

There was a pause before Shiro spoke again. “Apparently when we were fighting that robot it self destructed. The explosion tore Voltron apart and we disappeared. We’ve been out for 3 hours, Allura couldn’t pinpoint our location. They’re on their way now though.”

There was a sound suspiciously like barfing. “Sorry, I couldn’t hold it any more. Any way the Yellow Lion’s out too, but I’m good now.”

Keith sighed in relief. Seemed like nothing to bad had happened. He went to stand but a wave of dizziness dropped him back down. “Ugh.”

“Who was that? Lance, Keith, you guys good?” Shiro’s voice was urgent.

“Guys, something’s wrong. Dios mío, this can’t be happening.” That must’ve been Lance but he didn’t sound right. His voice was wrong and he sounded like he was about to start hyperventilating.

Keith reached up to grab the arm of the pilot seat as leverage to stand up and froze. Three things registered at once. First, his armor was blue. Second, his arm itself seemed much to long and thin. Third, the hand at the end was decidedly not his, it had tan skin and long fingers, and besides that Keith was pretty sure he’d been wearing gloves before. “What. The. Fuck.”

“Lance?” Hunk said at almost the same time Pidge said “Keith?”

“Lance calm down, you need to breath. Tell me what’s going on. Are you two okay?” Keith took a shaky breath and silently thanked Shiro for being so calm and collected.

Lance’s breathing sounded excruciating, especially since Keith still couldn’t seem to get his lungs to work right. With agonising slowness Lance finally seemed to rein himself in. He was still breathing too fast but at least it didn’t sound like he was panicking anymore. “I-I think there’s something wrong with my body.”

“Are you injured?” Shiro’s voice was still calm but he also sounded worried.

“No… It’s not that. I think—mierda. I think that— “

“It seems that somehow me and Lance appear to have… Switched bodies… Or something.” Keith looked down and sure enough, sprawled on the floor were Lance’s long legs, but now belonging to him, still clad in the Blue Paladin’s armor.

 “What!?” Hunk.

“How?” Pidge.

“You’re… not kidding… Are you?” Shiro sounded skeptical, understandably.

Lance laughed, it sounded a little hysterical. “About something like this?! Believe me even I couldn’t think up something this messed up.”

“Lance—“ Hunk again, he sounded almost warning though. Almost like he was scolding Lance.

“Guys listen, everyone calm down. Allura will be here with the castle any minute. We can figure out what’s gong on then okay?” Keith once again silently thanked Shiro for being so grounding and keeping everything together.

 

About half an hour later they were all gathered in the kitchen. Dining room. Galley. Whatever. It had been tricky to get the lions into the castle since they were still all oddly comatose but Keith had been happy for the distraction.

Keith sat beside Lance on one side of the table as the rest of the group stared at them from the other side. “So, let me get this straight.”

Keith scowled, frustrated about the entire situation, and gestured vaguely to himself. “Keith.” He pointed beside him to Lance but tried not to look at him, it was freaking weird looking at his own face contorted by all Lance’s expressions. “Lance.”

There was another round of awkward silence.

“Incredible…” Coran might’ve been whispering but you could’ve heard a pin drop the room was so quiet.

Lance balked and flailed his arms in a most un-Keith-like way. “This is cool to you? Well, it’s not, how do we switch back? And can you all stop staring like we’re some sort of specimen!”

“Sorry.” Hunk and Pidge looked away, Shiro lowered his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck, Allura and Coran jumped and blushed.

“Allura, Coran, you guys are the experts do you have any idea what the fuck happened?” Keith just wanted answers. He wanted to know if this was going to be a thing for any amount of time. He wanted to go to the training room and blow off some steam. He wanted to go lie down because his ribs still ached.

“Language Keith.” Shiro seemed to say it out of reflex. He was staring at the ground deep in thought. The familiarity of the words from back on Earth before the Kerberos disaster helped to lighten Keith’s mood a little.

“It could be one of two things that I can think of.” Coran twirled his mustache.

Everyone turned to him expectantly.

“The first and more problematic would be if it was something to do with that Galra robot. If the explosion was some sort of clever ploy for a psychic weapon then it could take some time to figure out what happened and undo it, if that’s even possible.” He tapped his chin. Lance paled. “On the other hand, the way the lions are acting right now, I’ve seen this happen once before. While the previous Paladins were still training and exploring the bond created through the lions they had some sort of accident. Their memories got all mixed up for a couple of weeks, it was really quite confusing, but the lions separated and shut down then too.”

“A couple weeks?” Lance’s voice had gone very high, something Keith hadn’t been aware his body even did.

“But it’s not permanent.” Shiro looked at Coran.

Coran grinned and twirled his mustache again. “I would imagine not. A few days for the lions to recover and you’ll probably be back to normal!”

Hunk and Pidge looked relieved. As well as Shiro and Allura to a slightly smaller degree. Lance still looked pale.

The fact that it would **_probably_** wear off didn’t do much to comfort Keith. He stood. “I’m going to the training room.”

“No!” Lance yelped, he looked panicked again. Everyone stared at him. “I-I mean please don’t?”

Keith really wanted this day to be over. “Why not?”

“Hunk, Pidge, alien friends, let’s give Lance and Keith a minute.” Bless Shiro. He left, turning at the door to beckon the others. They bolted after him.

“B-because… You’ll… Mess up my perfect skin!” Lance was shaking.

On most days Keith would’ve been worried first, but today was grating on his nerves and he was tired. “Look Lance, this is hard for me to okay? Stop with the over dramatics for once in your life, I’m tired, and pissed off, and I swear you have the lamest fucking lungs ever. How do you even get this out of shape?!”

Lance blinked up at him owlishly, it was weird, Keith was used to being the short one. “I— Fine. But no robot simulations, just inanimate objects, and I’m coming with you.”

“Whatever, let’s go then.” He turned and stalked towards the training room.

“Hey!” Lance scurried after him.

They fell into step a few ticks later. “This is too weird.”

“You’re telling me?” Keith rolled his eyes, he swore Lance didn’t use his brain when he spoke.

“Your legs are so short though. I feel like a chiwawa.” Lanced huffed.

Keith snorted. He didn’t know whether to laugh or feel insulted. “Yeah well like I said your lungs are crap, so I guess we both have issues.”

“It’s not like that…” Lance stared at the ground.

“What do you mean?” Keith pulled up short, he thought about the way his chest and back had been aching on and off. “Wait. Did you get an injury and not tell anyone about it?” He narrowed his eyes at Lance.

Lance shoved black bangs off his forehead in a very annoyed and un-practiced way. “No. What sort of idiot do you take me for? Never mind.” He began walking again.

“Sorry.” Keith caught up easily with long strides. Having long legs was pretty cool.

Lance didn’t say anything and the rest of the walk was filled with a weird awkward silence. When they arrived in the room Lance plopped down against the wall and tossed Keith’s Bayard at him. The action suprised Keith and he fumbled to catch it.

“Geez Lance, a little warning?” Keith dropped Lance’s Bayard beside the sitting boy and huffed.

Lance picked up the weapon and let out a shaky breath. “Sorry.”

“Listen, if you’re tired just go to bed, no one will be upset, it’s been a long day.” Keith tried to keep his voice gruff but Lance’s vocal cords just didn’t want to and it came out soft.

“Nah, I’m good.” Lance stood and ordered some targets, the room complied.

Keith watched as Lance blew hair out of his face and lined up the shots. “I have a hair band if you want.”

“Sure.”

“It’s on your wrist.”

Lance lowered his gun and checked one wrist, then the other. He held the band of black fabric up in font of his face. “Okay so I know how to do braids and pony tails and buns and a bunch of other stuff too but this doesn’t make any sense.”

Keith laughed. “Give it to me you moron.” He slipped it over lance’s head and then pushed it back up in the front so it tucked the bangs off his face.

“I can see!” Lance seemed to at least be acting more like his usual self now. That was good.

“It’s not that bad.” Keith lied. He’d meant to cut it soon but being trapped in space kind of put a hold to that plan

“You keep telling yourself that.” Lance turned back to the targets.

Keith moved away and called up a couple dummies. He used his fists for a bit before switching to his Bayard. Lance’s body reacted quickly and he was surprised how agile the long limbs were. That being said whatever was up with Lance’s chest kept him taking frequent breaks to catch his breath. On one such break after he’d miss calculated limb length, tumbled to the floor, and decided to stay there, he looked over at Lance. He’d thrown in some moving targets but it seemed like he was struggling. His set up took longer than normal and there were quite a few targets with marks around the outer borders. As Keith watched, Lance aimed at a spinning target in the far corner, held for a few long seconds, and then missed the shot. He groaned and flopped onto his back on the ground.

“What’s up with that mess?” Keith moved closer so he didn’t have to speak as loud, his chest was on fire again.

“Your ridiculous body. I keep getting distracted by other stuff in the room and your hands shake.” He held a hand above his head and studied it closely.

Keith nodded. “Yeah sorry, I’ve never had very steady hands, can’t draw a straight line to save my life. Shiro always used to joke about it. ‘A+ drawing skills, lines as straight as you.’ It was ridiculous.”

“Did you just out yourself with a joke? Who are you and what have you done with Keith?” Lance grinned and rolled over to look at him.

Keith stood and turned back towards the dummies, face burning. “It’s not like it was a secret.” Lance’s voice was extremely good at cracking embarrassingly.

Lance cackled. “Mysterious Emo Boy’s not looking so slick now.”

“W-well I’m not the only one! You’re bi, right?” He didn’t know why he’d said that but he hoped that Lance wouldn’t be upset about the subject.

He just laughed harder. “No shit Sherlock. How much more obvious can a guy get?”

Keith supposed he had a point, Lance had flirted with every single sentient being they’d come across. Keith might even be inclined to say Lance was pan, but he didn’t push it. Instead he went back to beating up the dummies – sword-less again – it was easier to coordinate Lance’s lanky frame that way. He pushed further than he had been before, frustrated that this body kept trying to give out on him so easily.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. “Keith, take a break.”

“No.” He shook Lance off.

“ ** _Yes_**.” Lance grabbed his shoulder again.

Keith spun around, knocking Lance’s hand down. “Back off. I’m fine.” Except that he couldn’t breathe.

“You’re not, and I’m sorry that annoys you but it’s my body you’re going to wreck if you don’t stop so take a fucking break.” Lance’s voice was hard but he was pale again.

“Fine.” Keith rolled his eyes and made a bee-line for the changing rooms that connected to the training room. He found a shower stall and went inside. He couldn’t seem to catch any air. He groaned in frustration and started stripping the armor off. Once he got to the black under suit he faltered, he needed the shower, he was sweaty and sore and stressed, a nice hot shower sounded like heaven. It would be fine as long as he didn’t look right? He wouldn’t touch either, he’d just stand under the water for a bit and then get out. The sound of the heavy door shutting behind someone hade him jump.

“Keith?”

Keith sighed, when had this level of fucked become his life? “Just having a quick rinse Lance. I won’t look, o-or touch or anything, promise.”

“No! You can’t!” Lance’s voice was about seven octaves higher than should’ve been possible. He was breathing weird and ragged again, like back in the lions, and it finally clicked what the sound meant. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. Lance sounded exactly like Shiro had back on Earth when he used to get panic attacks. Keith didn’t get it, why was Lance so freaked out over the body switch issue? Sure, it was weird, and annoying, and kind of scary, but three almost panic attacks in only a couple of hours?

“Lance, I know this is really weird but what do you keep getting so freaked out about?” No response. “Lance?” There was a strangled sound that might’ve been his name, or ‘help’, or anything else and Keith’s stomach dropped. He opened the door.

Lance was leaning heavily against a row of lockers. As Keith watched, frozen, Lance crumpled to the ground. He curled into a tight ball on the floor, back pressed against the wall behind him, hands locked firmly in his hair. Keith finally jerked himself into action and moved beside him. He hesitated, unsure. During Shiro’s brief stint of attacks he’d done a lot of research on the issue. Shiro had made it through his relatively easy with a hug and soothing words but that didn’t work for everyone. He needed to do something though, Lance might actually knock himself out if he didn’t calm down soon.

Keith crouched down in front of Lance, laying a hand on his shoulder. Lance recoiled from the contact with a whimper and Keith snatched his hand back. Lance’s shaking became almost violent and his fingers tightened in his hair. Keith tried to find his gaze beneath his bangs, but he had taken the hair band out and it was nearly impossible.

“Lance, Lance can you look at me? Please?” Keith said it softly, resisting the urge to push Lance’s hair out of his face.

Lance shook his head vigorously and squeezed his eyes shut. “C-can you l-l-leave, plea-please, go aw-away.” It was hard to make out the words between his gasping breaths.

“I’m not leaving until you calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself like this.” Keith was trying not to panic himself. Shiro’s attacks had never been this bad. Keith didn’t know what to do. He recalled Shiro’s instructions from the lions; ‘breathe Lance’, and the almost instant effect they’d had. It was worth a shot at least.

“Okay you don’t need to look at me, and I won’t touch you, but you need to breathe, yeah? I’m going to breathe nice and slow, see if you can follow me.” He had an idea, he wasn’t sure if it was a good plan but… “Bet you can’t do it.” He made his voice light and teasing, a challenge. He felt stupid the first couple of breaths, but then Lance seemed to relax a little. It took what felt like a very long time. Lance eventually calmed down enough to fall in pace with Keith. He was still shivering but it didn’t look like he was trying to pull Keith’s hair out of his head anymore, which was nice.

“Sorry.” His voice was barely more than a croak. He dropped his hands to the floor. His eyes were open again but he wouldn’t meet Keith’s gaze.

Keith laughed lightly. “Hey don’t worry about it, shit happens.” He reached out again, whether to ruffle Lance’s hair, or pat his shoulder, or rub his knee, he wasn’t sure. He stopped when Lance flinched away from him. That hurt a little. “Did I do something wrong? Look I’m sorry about not listening in the training room earlier I’m just stressed out.”

Lance shook his head and Keith was alarmed to see that his eyes looked damp. “No. It-it’s just part of the panic attack. I’m not sure why but contact just freaks me out around or during an attack. Thanks for the help.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it. I was confused though a little, you’ve been super on edge this whole time—“

“—And you haven’t?” Lance raised an eyebrow.

Keith laughed. “Fair enough.”

“Look, I know you need that shower, and if this is going to last a couple days then you’re going to find out eventually anyway so.” He took a very long, shaky breath. “I’mtransthat’swhyIwasfreakingoutI’msorryIdidn’ttellyoubeforepleasedon’thateme.” He held his breath and tensed up.

Keith blinked. “Wait, did you just say— Oh. **_Oh_**.” He was suddenly very aware of the pressure in his chest, now with an explanation it made sense. It was probably whatever Lance used to flatten his chest. “But that means—“ He choked. Yup, now that he focused on it he could feel the distinct lack of weight between his legs. He squirmed, muscles he wasn’t used to clenching and unclenching. A strangled noise escaped his throat and he ricocheted to his feet.

Lance looked up at him in alarm, breath becoming harsh again, but he reined it in.

Keith fell back onto the bench in the middle of the room as another realisation hit him. “Oh my god I’m a **_girl_**. Fucking hell.”

His wide eyes found Lance. He looked tinny against the lockers. Completely crumpled inside himself. “You’re not a girl. Not any more than I am.” His voice was barely audible over the rushing in Keith’s ears.

“That’s different though, you’re not—“ ‘ _In a girl’s body.’_ “—Oh.” His skin crawled. He was suddenly very acutely aware of his body—of Lance’s body. His thin build, his long legs, his hips. His brain was whirling, trying to connect ‘Lance’ and ‘girl’ and ‘Lance is a fucking girl’. He shook his head. “Dude, this is crazy. Okay. I’m going to go have a shower and wrap my head around this. And when I come back everything will be fine. That sound good?”

Lance was looking at him with wide eyes, he was shaking.

“Lance? Dude, you good?” The last thing Keith wanted was for Lance to have another panic attack while he was gone.

A grin spread across his face. “Never better. Uh, grab from the bottom,” he crossed his arms and demonstrated grabbing the bottom of a shirt, “and pull up. You don’t have to put it back on. I’m going to go change and then grab some clothes for you is that cool?”

“Yeah, sure.” Keith nodded.

“Okay, I’ll be right back!” Lance was out the door before Keith got a chance to ask what he’d meant before about… How to take something off?

He figured it out a few minutes later when he was back in the shower stall. He’d stripped off the black under suit and a pair of boxer-briefs with nervously averted eyes already. Now he was left in a tight black tank top. A few experimental tugs told him this was the culprit for both the pain and his flat chest. He grabbed the bottom corners and followed the instructions Lance had given him. After a few minutes of struggling he managed to wrestle it off and sighed in relief as air rushed into his lungs. The weight on his chest caught him off guard and he looked before he could stop himself. He didn’t know exactly what he’d been expecting, and ultimately, he’d known they’d be there, but actually seeing breasts made him feel queasy. They weren’t particularly small either, perhaps slightly smaller than Allura’s. Keith tore his eyes away then cranked the water on hot. As he stepped in he silently apologized to Lance for the rough treatment.

By the time he forced himself out of the shower Lance was already waiting on the bench with a pile of clothes. He was spaced out and Keith cleared his throat to get the other’s attention. He wanted to get changed, he felt ridiculous. He’d wrapped a towel around his waist as normal and then stared in confusion and annoyance at his chest. He ended up wrapping another towel under his shoulders.

Lance looked up and a snort of laughter erupted from his stupid face. “Dios mío Keith. You look ridiculous.”

“I’m aware, just give me some clothes jerk.” Keith held out a hand.

“I just got you my clothes and wore yours. I mean we’re pretty similar sizes but on the off chance something didn’t fit comfy…” Lance smiled awkwardly as he pushed the clothes into Keith’s hand.

He grabbed them and nodded. “Works for me, thanks Lance.”

As he turned and closed himself into the stall again Lance chuckled. “You don’t need to do that you know, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“It would still feel weird though.” He got his bottom half clothed jut fine but he struggled with the bra.

“It goes over your head, cross in the back, pads in the front. Most sports bras are a lot easier to put on but that one’s to small so it makes them look, you know… smaller. Sorry I don’t have anything more comfortable, it’s a miracle I even had that one with me when we left Earth.” Lance’s voice was quiet on the other side of the door.

Once Keith had rearranged himself in the fabric as Lance had instructed he quickly pulled on the shirt and Lance’s jacket before opening the door to step out of the stall. “No problem, it’s a lot more comfortable then the other thing you had on.”

Lance looked up from the floor, eyes dull and distracted. “My binder? Yeah it’s pretty bad when you wear it to long.”

Keith tightened his grip on the binder and frowned. He was concerned about how Lance seemed to be flying all over the map with his emotions. He’d never seen Lance be anything but annoyingly loud and cocky. Now he was breaking down and spacing out and generally weirding Keith out. He put a hand on Lance’s shoulder and tried to ignore how he flinched. “How about we hit the sack for now, it’s been a long day.”

Lance nodded but made no move to stand up.

“Come on buddy, you’re kind of freaking me out a bit what’s up?” Keith chuckled nervously when his voice became higher then he wanted it to be.

Lance stood and Keith dropped his hand as Lance subtly shifted out of his reach. “Sorry I’m just tired, bed sounds good, let’s do that.”

“Alright.” Keith was pretty sure his hand was shaking from how hard he was gripping the binder in his fist. He followed Lance down the dark corridors to his room his head full of worries.

“Why?” The whispered word shook Keith out of his thoughts and he found Lance’s gaze. The other paladin was glued to his door frame. He looked small. Especially in Keith’s slighter frame and pale skin.

Keith cocked an eyebrow “I know you’re tired but questions require a subject.”

“It’s not like I was looking at anything on purpose but it’s hard to miss when the scars are everywhere. Why would you do that to yourself?”

Keith felt his gut twist. His chest was tight, nausea swirling through him as he looked away from Lance, anywhere but at his concerned eyes. It’d been a long time since he’d stopped. He hadn’t even thought about it in so long. He’d forgotten about the scars and the fact that Lance would probably notice them and definitely question him about them. He’d been lonely and confused, felt betrayed by everyone, abandoned, he’d had so many bad situations in a row and couldn’t see the end. He’d just wanted the relief; the control, any feeling besides being numb and empty. Once he’d found Shiro it had been different. He’d stopped hurting himself because he didn’t need to anymore. After the Kerberos mission disaster and subsequently being kicked out of the Garrison it’d been rough but he was still clean. This wasn’t something he wanted in his life anymore. This was supposed to be over.

“Keith?” A hand on his shoulder had his head jerking up and he stumbled back.

“I-I was in a really bad place, but that… that’s over.” He pressed his shaking hands together around the binder.

Lance was rigid in the doorway. “Listen, I’m here if you ever need to—“

“Thank you, Lance, but I think I’m just going to head to my room now, I’m really tired. I’ll see you at breakfast yeah? Goodnight.” Keith spun on his heal and tried not to sprint down the hall.

“Keith, wait—“ He didn’t slow down to hear the end of whatever Lance was saying. He needed to lie down and process.

And that’s exactly what he did. After changing into some lose clothes that didn’t quite reach the ends of Lance’s long limbs or fit around his unflattened chest he dropped heavily onto his bed and cocooned himself in the comforter.

Keith didn’t get a lot of sleep that night. He tossed and turned, as exhausted as he was he couldn’t silence the memories and thoughts rushing around his head. He finally passed out some time in the early hours of the day.


	2. Of Course it Had to be Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this chapter is a little short, I needed to switch POVs though. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner than this one was. I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> ~BlakBriar

Lance

 

Lance woke up exhausted. It took him a long while lying in bed to shake the worst of the grogginess out of his brain. Yesterday’s catastrophe came flooding back and his chest tightened. _How could I forget that?_ The body swap, his anxiety attack in the change room, the disaster of his last conversation with Keith. He clenched his shaking hands into fists and fought his breathing back to normal. He would not have another attack right now, he was still wiped out enough from the last one. He knew he’d suffer for holding it back later but he couldn’t bring himself to care just now.

_Alright Lance, time to get moving. Come on, up you go._ It wasn’t as hard to force himself into movement that morning and Lance was pretty sure not being overwhelmed by early morning dysphoria was the big factor there. He worried over Keith as he slipped into the bathroom and began his morning ritual. He tried to not notice or think about the careful, perfect white scars littering Keith’s lower abdomen and thighs. Their presence did nothing to reassure Lance of how Keith was dealing right now.

Lance had a lot of practice waking up every morning in the wrong body, trying to avoid himself and any reflective surface until he was bound up and dressed. He had a moment of sheer panic when his mind drifted to the other hideous part of his treacherous body. _Dios Mio, when is my period? Think Lance!_ He had his schedule down perfectly, there was nothing worse than being unprepared for that shit show. He hadn’t even realized he’d started to fall into an attack until he dropped out of it with the realization of nine days until detonation.

He took a deep shuddering breath and rubbed at his eyes. _Coran’s statement of only a few days better be right._

About an hour later Lance strolled into the kitchen for breakfast. He’d taken a little longer than usual to calm down and finish up his morning routine (Keith’s skin was a mess) and was the last to arrive. “Morning losers, didn’t miss anything cool did I?” He dropped into his chair with a comfortable grin. He was still acutely aware of how different Keith’s body was to his own but knowing that Keith was aware and accepting of the situation with his own body took a lot of yesterday’s anxiety away.

“We were just about to send someone to make sure you weren’t dead.” Hunk said from across the table with a playful grin.

Lance warmed at the words. He and Hunk had developed codes over the years to check in with each other in public without letting anyone else know secrets they shouldn’t. What Hunk was really asking was if he was okay. Lance had a reply for a bad day with dysphoria or one for if he was overly anxious, today though he got to use one of the rarer ones. ‘I’m okay.’ “Sorry, can’t get rid of me that easily, I’m still alive and kicking!” Lance sent Hunk a wink and shot him with some finger guns before digging into his breakfast.

“Unfortunately.” Keith said from his left. Lance could hear his eyes roll.

Lance flung a spoonful of breakfast goo behind himself and clutched at his chest. “Keith you wound me.” He leaned in and stage whispered so that everyone could hear. “It’s okay I know you secretly care about me and would miss me if I kicked the bucket. You have to keep up appearances though, I get it!”

Keith smirked. “Lance the only thing I would miss about you is the body you’re currently wearing.”

“It seems you two are feeling better this morning.” Shiro smiled form the head of the table.

Lance glanced over at Keith. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess, but he seemed okay. He was smiling gently and appeared to have even managed to wrestle the binder on. Lance looked back at Shiro. “I think we’re doing okay yeah.”

Keith nodded.

“I’m sorry I can’t deal with this anymore, I think my brain might explode.” Pidge stood from the table. “I’m super glad you two are okay, but please don’t talk to me until you’re back in your own bodies. This is just too weird.” They spun around and sped walked in the direction of their lab.

Allura stood and cleared her throat. “I’m afraid I must agree with Pidge, though I would’ve liked to bring the subject up more gently. I’ll be on the bridge if you need me. Sorry everyone.” She left in a much more controlled fashion than Pidge had.

Hunk slurped and spoke around a mouth full of goo. “Geez, they sure have their pants on too tight today. Don’t worry guys, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Hunk I don’t know what’s more disgusting; that you just sprayed gross alien goo all over, or that you actually seem to be enjoying said alien goo.” Lance wasn’t upset with Pidge or Allura, he probably would’ve done the same in their position. He was just trying not to think about it to much.

Shiro was staring at Hunk and his mess with drawn eyebrows. “This is hard on all of us, I think we just need to take it as it comes and try not to dwell. Coran,” Shiro pulled his eyes from Hunk with seeming difficulty and turned to Coran. “Any more insight on the issue?”

Coran jumped. He’d been oddly quiet all morning and Lance suspected he’d been lost in thought. “Well, there hasn’t appeared to be any difference with the lions. As for my other theory I mentioned yesterday, I’m almost positive that isn’t the case. I’ve been studying the debris left over from the explosion and haven’t found anything even remotely suggesting there was a weapon like that in the robot.”

Lance let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and felt some of the tension drop out of Keith beside him. “That’s a relief.” Keith fidgeted with his pants and Lance felt his gut clench. A wave of emotions washed over him that were both familiar and unexpected. He wasn’t sure if the dysphoria roiling in his body was for Keith, or anticipatory of inevitably switching back, or possibly just caused by the switch itself. He may not have felt at home in his body but at least he was used to it, Keith wasn’t.

Lance had a hard time following the rest of Shiro and Coran’s conversation. He felt it as he fell in on himself and had to fight the urge to laugh, or possibly cry, he couldn’t really tell. This was one of the worst spells he’d had in a long time, of course it was happening **_now_**.

“Lance?” Hunk sounded concerned.

He forced himself back to the surface and internally cursed when he noticed Shiro and Coran were no longer present. He was fucking time slipping, he hadn’t done that in years; since he left for the Garrison and stopped talking to his father.

“We can’t exactly do much right now because of everything going on, shall we call a spa day?” Lance searched frantically in his foggy brain for the correct meaning behind the words and the proper reply to them.

“Yeah, I haven’t had one of those in a while. I could do with some Cucumber Oasis R&R.” He tried to make his voice light.

Keith snorted. Mierda, Lance had forgotten about him. “How the fuck do you two plan on spa-ing out while aboard an alien castle ship in space?”

Hunk was already pulling Lance out of his seat. “Pidge and I spent some time the other day making the alien equivalent of the essential spa day supplies. Don’t ask, we were board, and this guy gave me the look.” He chuckled but it sounded nervous.

Keith seemed to take in the picture and his smirk faded. “Need a third member? Or should I hang elsewhere?”

“Um…” Hunk’s gaze dropped to Lance’s. Lance shrugged in response. The shivering had started up and all he wanted to do was lie down for a bit. He didn’t really care at this point. Keith already knew he was trans and had panic attacks. Might as well let him in on all the other shit that made up Lance.

“I know about… Lance’s situation, if that makes any difference.” Keith was still siting at the table, an awkward tension in his shoulders.

Hunk let out a breath and nodded. “Of course, right, the switch and everything. I think you could tag along for sure.”

That was right about where Lance’s memory started to go fuzzy. He remembered lagging behind as they made their way to Hunk’s room. Lying in Hunk’s bed as he tucked the sheets around Lance. He wasn’t sure how long he stared across the room without seeing, his skin crawling and itching, stomach rolling. Bits and pieces of Hunk and Keith’s conversation made it through the haze.

One time Hunk was rambling about the first time he and Lance had gone surfing. Hunk had been eight, Lance seven. Lance’s older brother Fredrick had brought them and Lance had been ecstatic because the full body water suits were the same for boys and girls. Since he was seven with no boobs and his hair was tied back he’d looked like a little boy for the first time and almost cried when Freddie said he looked handsome instead of pretty.

Another time Keith was talking about his life growing up in Texas before his father had gotten sick and Keith had been left to foster care. Lance almost winced at that one, remembering times he’d been bickering with Keith and brought up a jab he wouldn’t have if he’d known.

During one other brief moment of clarity Lance overheard Hunk explaining his asexuality to Keith and Lance smiled at the moment. Hunk didn’t tell a lot of people about himself so it was good he and Keith were bonding like that.

When Lance blinked his dry eyes and sat up, it was dark. Keith was curled against the wall of the nook by Lance’s feet and Hunk was sprawled on the floor below him. His thoughts moved sluggishly but the worst of the haze was past at least. He gingerly pushed the blankets off himself and crept over Hunk. His stomach was twisting painfully and he knew it was only a matter of time. Almost as soon as he made it to the toilet he started hurling. The goo he’d eaten… Yesterday? Splashed into the bowl pathetically, followed by stomach acid and then nothing. A cold clothe found his forehead as he continued to shudder and heave and Hunk’s large hand stroked his back slow and soothing.

“Lance…” Hunk hated whenever this happened to him. They’d had this discussion before; there was nothing Hunk could do, Lance just had to suffer through it occasionally.

After a few minutes of calm Lance slumped back against Hunk’s legs and tilted his head up to grin at him. “I’m good buddy, don’t stress.”

“I know…” Hunk swept the clothe over Lance’s face a few more times. He looked pained. “I just wish—“

“No, none of that, there’s nothing to do about this except deal with it, which you are very good at so thank you, but don’t beat yourself up.”

“Alright, I wasn’t kidding though, I did actually manage to convince the gremlin to help me make some spa supplies if you want.” Hunk held a hand out and Lance gripped it with relief.

Lance couldn’t even begin to put into words how much he adored Hunk. He still felt like crap but his best friend always knew the exact right thing to say or do to make everything better. If he wasn’t so shaky he might’ve thrown himself into Hunk’s arms. Instead he crossed his arms so Hunk wouldn’t see how much his hands shook and leaned back against the counter. “Of course bro.”

Hunk grabbed a bag from the cupboard under the sink. He held it up and grinned. “Then let the party begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to mention that I don't have anxiety, I've never self harmed, and I don't get really bad dysphoria, so everything in this story is just me talking out my ass. I'm trying to get it as realistic as possible but if I get something horribly wrong feel free to let me know and I'll try to fix it up. Thank you! 
> 
> Thank you also to SakuraPetal91, fizzysodas, blackalien, DoctorsOrdersDiAngelo, Sammykatza, patchfacing, theWyxxy, Elki, and anyone else who has or will Kodus. Love you all <3
> 
> ~BlakBriar


	3. Spa Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful readers, I'm so sorry this has been so long a wait. I was suffering writers block and there was... a lot going on in my life. Hopefully chapters will be much more frequent starting now though. Anyways, enjoy :)
> 
> ~BlakBriar

Keith

 

Keith woke up to the sound of giggles from the floor. He winced at the sharp twinge in his neck from how he'd fallen asleep and cracked his eyes open.

Hunk and Lance were huddled together on the floor, they both had light green paste smeared all over their faces and Keith shuddered at the thought of the cold against his own skin. Lance had one of Hunks hands on his thigh and was carefully and skillfully coating each nail with a bright green nail polish. His shaggy hair was in a messy bun near the top of his head.

"No." Lance huffed a laugh, his shoulders shaking as he glanced up at Hunk.

Hunk pulled an overly dramatic serious face. "Swear to God, cross my heart and hope to die. MariChat is my ship and makes me cry."

Lance gasped and shout whispered. "You did not just use the sacred shippers' oath on that **_disgrace_** of a pairing!"

"Sorry but MariChat makes my heart go boom." They both broke into giggles and Keith contemplated asking them what the hell they were talking about but Hunk spoke first.

"Okay, okay, okay, if MariChat is such a disgrace tell me what the great Shipper Queen's OTP is in MLB." He rose an eyebrow in the way only Hunk could, somehow both teasing and curious.

"Only the best one," Lance had paused in his nail painting and his still hand drifted towards his arm. There were red patches of skin along his arms, abrasions and scratches littering the areas. He started scratching and didn't seem to notice the red lines his fingers left. Keith would've been angry at him for marking up his pale skin like that if he hadn't been so concerned. "Adrinino. Also, Juleka and Rose are totally the cutest girlfriends oh my gosh."

Hunk's laugh was a little forced. He leaned forward slightly and gently pushed Lance's hand away from his arm. Lance didn't seem to notice, he just kept talking. "I mean come on, they're totally together!"

"Dude, focus." Hunk waved his half unpainted hand up in front of Lance.

"Right sorry." Lance laughed and grabbed Hunk's hand, placing it back on his leg. Keith startled when he realized the weird spaced out haze Lance had been in earlier still fogged around him. How had Keith not noticed? It was less now than before but his gaze seemed kind of far off.

"So, I concede that Juleka and Rose are beautiful Lesbian hunbuns but Adrinino? Really?" Hunk placed his free hand against the side of his head and sighed disappointedly.

Lance rolled his eyes and snickered. "Watch the nails! Hand down. There you go. Nino totally likes Adrien and Adrien is a pure roll who doesn't understand emotions. Will it be cannon? Probably not. Is it the cutest thing ever to imagine them slowly realizing that they like each other as more than friends, proceed to pine over each other for weeks, before finally admitting they have a crush on each other and becoming the cutest, dorkiest boyfriends ever? Um, yes."

"When you say it like that." Hunk smiled thoughtfully.

Keith sat up and rolled his shoulders. "Aaaaaaand, that is about as much of that as I can take. What are you nerds even talking about?"

Hunk and Lance glanced up at him.

"Keith, you're awake! Would you like to join us?" Hunk gestured to his face. Keith screwed his own up in disgust.

"Sleeping Beauty is awake!" Lance grinned.

Keith rolled his eyes. "I'm not the one who was out all day Lance." As soon as the words left his mouth he panicked a little inside. That was probably not the right thing to say to Lance after whatever episode he'd just been through. He had asked Hunk what was going on but he'd told Keith to ask Lance himself later.

Lance's face dropped a little and Keith mentally cursed himself. He really needed to get better at talking to people.

"Miraculous Ladybug! We were talking about Miraculous Ladybug and what ship is our OTP." Hunk laughed nervously.

"Right." Lance shook his head and focused back on Hunks almost completed nails. "Please tell me you do at least know what an OTP is."

Hunk let out a breath and nodded at Keith gently. Keith let the tension trickle out of his shoulders and leaned forward a bit. "What do you take me for Lance? I know what a One True Pairing is. I even know what shipping is."

One of Lance's eyebrows rose, whether in surprise or disbelief was hard to say, but he didn't look away from Hunk's last nail. "Do you know what Miraculous Ladybug is though."

Keith considered for a moment. The name sounded familiar... "Oh my God is it that French cartoon for little kids? I've seen it on Netflix.

Lance squawked. "It's not-"

"Lance, it kind of is, this isn't really a fight we can win." Hunk laid a hand on Lance's shoulder sympathetically.

"Whatever..." Lance muttered and hunched over closer to Hunk's hand on his leg.

Keith felt kind of bad but Hunk was laughing lightly so it couldn't've been too bad. Besides, there were a few good kids cartoons that Keith enjoyed. Gravity Falls for example was an excellent show. It had mysteries and cryptids too. Keith figured it was best just to change the subject though. "I'm impressed Lance. That nail job is perfect."

"No thanks to your shaking." He finished up the last stroke and sat up, a grin across his lips. "Done!"

"Thanks bro." Hunk brought his hand up to admire the colour.

"My pleasure bro." Lance laughed as he put the brush/cap back on the polish and put it in a pile of similar bottles beside him.

Hunk sat up sharply. "You should do Keith's!"

Keith raised his hands up in front of his chest. "I really don't think that's necessary." He had nothing against guys wearing nail polish, he wasn't a fan of gender stereotypes in general, but he was not someone who liked to wear it himself.

"Come on Mull-” Keith, don't be a baby." Lance smirked.

"Nope. It's really okay." Any other time Keith would've totally teased him for almost calling him Mullet, maybe even jabbed that Lance was now the one with the mullet he despised so adamantly, but Keith wasn't sure where the line was right now, so he didn't.

Hunk sighed. "Party pooper. You at least have to do the face mask though."

Keith actually shuddered. "I'm sorry but there is no way in Hell you guys are doing that to my face."

"Okay number one, this is a spa party, so you have to. Number two, you're in my body, and my skin needs care Keith! So you have to." Lance was scratching at his wrist and Keith winced. His finger dug in to his skin so much Keith's own wrist hurt just watching. How could he not feel it?

Hunk once again reached over and softly pulled Lance's hands apart, placing each one on one of Lance's knees.

Lance was looking at Keith expectantly, oblivious once again to Hunk's, and his own, actions. Maybe if it would keep Lance's hands busy even for a little bit... It probably wouldn't be that bad. He huffed. "Fine, face mask and nails, but only if you have black."

"And you say you're not emo." Lance smirked.

Hunk pushed himself up. "I'll go get the rest of the stuff from the bathroom. I have to pee."

"TMI Hunk!" Lance laughed as Hunk stuck his tongue out before heading for the door across the room. Lance turned to Keith and patted the floor beside him. "Come join me."

Keith rolled his eyes and huffed dramatically. "Why are you like this." He swung his legs around and pushed himself to standing, only for a wave of dizziness to wash over him. He dropped back onto the bed, vision dim, his hand tangled in the shirt material against his chest. He couldn't get air into his lungs, the binder he hadn't noticed before suddenly constricting his ribs painfully. He had a brief thought; if this was what a panic attack felt like then he had a whole new respect for Lance going out and doing the crazy shit he did and risking this. Fuck. **_He couldn't breath._**

Suddenly Lance was in front of him. Keith could barely hear him over the rushing in his ears. "Is it the binder?"

Keith nodded, he couldn't speak.

"How long have you had it on?" Lance looked pale behind his face mask.

He'd put it on this morning, how long had it been? He'd fallen asleep talking to Hunk some time in the evening, if his internal clock was right (which it usually was) it was somewhere just passed the middle of the castle ships artificial nights. "I don't know." Breathe. "Maybe, like, eighteen hours? Longer?" He couldn't fucking breathe.

"Quiznack, Keith you have to take it off. You're only supposed to have it on for a maximum of eight hours at a time. Lance's breath was quick.

"No wonder it hurts so much."

A breathless laugh. "Keith this isn't the time for joking. I'll turn around okay? Binder off."

He waited until Lance had turned before slipping his shirt off and wrangling the binder shortly after. Practicing this morning had been a good decision. He put the shirt back on and did his jacket up so the breast lumps weren't so visible. After a few lungful's of air, he felt much better. "Done."

"You should leave it off for now, and only wear the sports bra tomorrow." Lance seemed to have regained his composure mostly when he turned around.

"What about... You know, I'm not going to be in my room all day Lance." Keith shifted uncomfortable. He didn't want his screw up to be the reason Lance came out before he was ready.

Lance scratched at his arm. "Don't worry about it, as long as you wear the jacket or the paladin armor no one should notice."

Keith grabbed Lance's hand and held onto it firmly. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" Lance cocked his head and Keith could see the struggle in Lance's gaze to make his brain work and push the fog away.

Keith grabbed each of Lance's wrists and lifted them up.

"Oh." Lance's eyes fluttered over his arms and he cringed. He pulled away from Keith, crossing his arms over his chest. "It happens sometimes when my dysphoria gets really bad. It's like my skin doesn't fit right, it itches and crawls and just feels wrong. Then my brain gets all foggy and it's hard to focus. Plus my anxiety makes it all worse. It hasn't been this bad in a while. I'm sorry.

"Don't worry about it, I've had worse." Keith winced, that had probably not been the right thing to say.

Hunk's voice called out from the bathroom and both boys jumped. "Lance where's the black? I could've sworn we had some."

"Black?" Lance plopped back down to his spot on the floor and riffled through the bottles of polish until he found the desired colour and held it up triumphantly. "It's out here Hunk, I got it."

Keith settled beside him on the floor and let that particular line of discussion drop. Lance didn't seem any more eager to pursue it, so the room was heavy with silence when Hunk re-emerged from the bath room. He was singing something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like Smash Mouth's Rockstar. He seemed completely oblivious to the discomfort in the air and plopped down to complete their little circle, depositing an armful of supplies that horrified Keith.

"It's not that I don't trust you guys. It's just that I don't really trust you guys with that stuff and my face." The prospect of the face mask slime touching his face at all was giving him mad heeebie jeebies, but imagining the application of it was what was really sending anxious jitters down his spine. Keith had never been one for physical contact, it just came with so many bad memories. The few times it'd happened with the rest of the team had been mostly okay; hi fives, fist bumps, hand shakes, the occasional hug, but Lance and Hunk's hands all over his face would not go over well.

"What, you scared Keith?" Lance had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face that was doing nothing for Keith's confidence.

He could feel indignation creeping over the discomfort though, and he forced himself to cross his arms over his chest stubbornly. "In your dreams Lance."

"Don't worry Keith, you don't even notice it after a while." Hunk smiled reassuringly as he picked up the paste.

A nervous chuckle bubbled up his throat but he pushed it down. "Fine, let's do this."


	4. Colours and Their Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone :) 
> 
> So I recently learned about this condition called synaesthesia and I thought it was super cool. I saw a headcannon that Lance had it and I fell in love. Of course, it was too late to give it to him in this fic, but somehow Hunk ended up with it. Anyway, this is another thing I don't have any personal experience with, I tried to represent it accurately, but same as always, if you have any corrections, just let me known!
> 
> ~BlakBriar

Lance

 

Lance's thoughts were swirling around in his head and giving him a headache. His embarrassment about the red all over his arms, how he couldn't stay focused enough to stop. The worry about Keith's offhand comment; _'_ _I've had worse'_. The frustration at himself for being unable to take care of himself, for getting lost in that awful fog. At the very least the whirlwind was distracting enough to part of his brain that he was finding it easier to concentrate on the room.

"You know, green is not your colour." Hunk said as he smeared paste over Keith's cheek.

Keith scowled, his back seemed tense, well, tense- ** _er_** than usual. He was stiff and unnaturally still as Hunk's fingers rubbed over his nose. "What do you mean? Lance wears this jacket all the time, it's green."

"No, I mean..." Hunk paused, a thoughtful pinch to his eyebrows. Keith subtly backed his face away from Hunk's still fingers. "Okay, so Lance's colour is by far a good blue, and he can definitely do green too, but I meant like _your_ colour."

"You've lost me." Keith narrowed his eyes at Hunk. "Lance's colour is my colour right now."

Hunk sighed and resumed rubbing the paste onto Keith's face. "Well on the outside yeah, but I meant, like, you. Your energy." Hunk looked sheepish and it suddenly clicked what he was talking about.

Lance felt a fond smile tug at his lips. "You're talking about the synaesthesia. So what colour is his energy anyway?" He turned to Keith with a stage whisper. "I've been trying to get him to tell me for ages, but he won't tell me about anyone's colour."

"What's, synae- synaesthesia...?" It was Keith's turn to look puzzled and it was weird watching his own face scrunch. He focused on the container of face product in his hands.

"It's pretty cool actually!"

Hunk's face was beat red. "More like weird, Lance."

"Oh, come on big guy!" Lance gave his friend a light punch on the arm and grinned at Keith. "Synaesthesia is when the senses get mixed up. For Hunk, it's auditory and visual, so some things he hears have colours and sometimes when sees something it makes sound."

Keith's eyes had become big. "Wow."

Hunk looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's pretty mild compared to some, it's mostly just people for me."

"Hey Hunk," When the other teen looked up at Lance he made the best version of his puppy dog face he could, it almost always worked on Hunk, he just hoped it would even with Keith's face. "Please can you tell me now? Keith wants to know too, right Keith?"

The sound that came out of Keith was somewhat strangled, probably due to the elbow Lance had jabbed into his side, but he nodded.

There was silence, the only movement was Hunk finishing up Keith's mask. Lance was starting to worry he'd pushed a little to far. Hunk never closed off this much; his face looked like a stone wall. He knew logically he was probably just over thinking again, Lance knew how much Hunk had been bullied for his condition as a kid. How much it had taken just to get Hunk to stop hating that part of himself, but he wanted this guy, his best friend, who'd done so much for him, to feel comfortable talking about it. The cloud was pushing back to the forefront of his mind, bringing all the awful thoughts with it. All he could do to avoid ripping his arms up any more was white knuckle the container in his hands and focus on the grounding pressure of his knee against Hunk's.

Lance was snapped back to reality when Hunk began gently prying the container from his stiff fingers. He was staring stubbornly at his hands, a light pink dusted over his cheeks. "Um, orange... Like, a rusty brown orange. Trees in the fall. Rocks and sand when the sun sets. That's ah... you're colour, Keith..."

There was silence for a moment. That... was a really pretty image. No! Keith, his rival, was annoying, not pretty. He needed a distraction. "It's not red? But, he's the _red_ paladin!" Perfect.

"I think it's nice!" Keith's face twisted into a scowl.

"You're actually the only one that mostly matches your lion Lance." Hunk's face was still pink, his body tense, but he wasn't avoiding looking at Lance anymore at least.

Keith was visibly more relaxed now that he had a little more space, and his interested half smile was directed at Hunk even as he leaned back on his hands. "Really? What are everyone else's?"

Lance turned back to Hunk expectantly.

"Okay, well, Pidge is yellow. Like blindingly yellow. When they get really excited about something it just kind of explodes, and they give off this bubbling, chattering sort of background sound." Hunk was smiling now, and Lance had to refrain from throwing himself at the guy sobbing and praising this new openness. A wiggling at the back of his head was pointing out that it was Keith that had made this happen, not Lance, but he quickly pushed the thought deep into the dark cloud. He could revisit that later. When he was alone.

"That's not what I'd have thought, but it makes sense now that I think about it. What's Shiro?" Keith's voice was excited, hopeful.

Hunk was really getting into it now, his hands waving excitedly. "Shiro was the best thing ever. You'd never even guess it. He's this really intense green somewhere between lime and emerald. He's so serious but then every time he talks it's just that ridiculous colour, and it's really bright too. It's wispy and hard to see most of the time but then when he gets frustrated or annoyed it gets everywhere."

"Oh my god!" Lance was crying he was laughing so hard, it was such a weird thing to picture.

Keith's expression seemed to be stuck somewhere between amusement and pain. "I wish that wasn't so easy to believe."

"Okay, explain." This Lance had to hear.

Keith met his gaze with such a serious expression Lance started giggling again. "Shiro puts out this tough guy image, but he's actually a huge dork. He used to spend so much time with his boyfr- Pidge's brother Matt, having meme-offs. They made me referee, I think it traumatised me a little, and I'm not even going to get started on the anime..."

By that point Lance was practically in Hunk's lap. He couldn't breath, but for once it had nothing to do with terror or panic. He could feel Hunk in a similar state beside him.

"You laugh now, but," Keith actually shuddered, "just wait until Pidge finds Matt. I can guaranty you that it will not be funny then."

Lance was pretty sure Keith would run away if he mentioned memes and anime were two of his favorited things, so he kept that to himself, but he would definitely need to track down Shiro after this.

After a couple of minutes Lance and Hunk had finally regained their ability to breathe, so Lance set about painting Keith's nails as Hunk resumed his explanation. "Okay, who's left?"

"What about Coran and Allura?" Keith had tensed up again when Lance picked up his hand and put it on his knee, but at least he was still distracted with Hunk.

"Allura's this really deep red, like the kind you see medieval royalty in on TV shows. Sometimes it gets almost pinkish when she's talking to the mice or something, but it never quite gets there. Coran on the other hand doesn't really have a colour, he talks so fast, and it's so hard to understand what he's saying sometimes. All I ever see is this white blur around him, or sparkles, it's really weird." Hunk wasn't looking at them anymore, but he seemed about a hundred times more relaxed. He was lying flopped out on his back beside Lance, letting a content hum fill any silences between his words. Lance wished he could've been the reason Hunk was so happy.

"I guess that's aliens for you." Keith stared at his hand for a long moment. "What about Lance?"

Hunk turned his head to meet Lance's gaze thoughtfully, before looking back at the ceiling. "Yours confuses me, it"s complicated, probably because I know you so well. Most of the time you're blue, but it changes, no one else's does. Usually you stay somewhere in the sky tones, but when you talk about home or your family it's that dark navy blue-green of the ocean under the stars. When you get hyper itâ€™s sunlight reflecting through sapphire. If you're sad it's that permeating grey-blue when it rains and the clouds absorb all the light. Bad days are awful, all your normal saturation just goes away and you get all dim and grey, but no matter what you always have sound. Everyone else's fades in and out, or only happens sometimes. You never stop sounding like the ocean. You know when you put your ear to a conch shell? It's like that."

The room was silent. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, just the kind that happens after someone says something too deep and no one knows how to reply. So everyone ends up thinking really philosophical thoughts. At least that's what Lance assumed Hunk and Keith were doing. He was freaking out a little bit. Hunks words were unsettling in how extensive they were. He wasn't expecting to be different, he didn't know what that meant, he didn't know if he _wanted_ to. He didn't even know what was going on in his own brain, how could Hunk just reach into his head like that when Lance couldn't? If Keith noticed his hands shaking more than before he didn't say anything, and Lance was thankful for that.

"Sorry, that was a little too much, wasn't it?" Hunk phrased it like a question, but he sounded like he already knew the answer. That was obviously why he hadn't said anything to Lance before. It hurt to know Hunk didn't trust him to be able to handle it, it hurt more to know he was probably right.

"Naw, it's chill. I dig being special." Lance winked at Hunk and beckoned for Keith's other hand.

Keith dutifully switched hands, lifting the finished one to examine it. "Why does it feel weird? Fingernails don't have nerves."

Hunk pushed himself up on his elbows. Lance could feel his gaze burning into the side of his head but refused to look. Hunk couldn't always be so concerned about him, it wasn't fair to the big guy. "I don't know why that happens, you get used to it though."

"Seems like there's a lot of things I'm getting used to these days..." Keith was staring at his hand, gaze distant.

 

 

The rest of the night passed mostly in comfortable, if a little melancholy, silence. Lance finished Keith's nails, and after they dried they all crowded into the bathroom to rinse the face masks off. The dark fog in Lance's brain faded slowly, and by the time the three boys split to freshen up and get changed before breakfast he almost felt back to normal.

Pidge and Allura seemed to have dispelled most of their discomfort from the day before and breakfast was a lively affair. After that they did some bonding exercises- thankfully not with the mind-meld device, Lance was hoping that he'd never have to do that again, it was way too hard keeping the darker memories blocked from the others. Instead they did the invisible maze, with much better results than their first try. Everyone agreed that combat training would be best avoided while Lance and Keith were still getting used to their new limbs, and Lance couldn't say that upset him very much, he knew it would be awkward and uncomfortable for Keith since he was still stuck in the sports bra. So, they worked on some diplomacy skills for inevitable meetings in the future. It goes without saying that that exercise was a bit of a train wreck. They ended up turning in for an early dinner which, even though they were all tired, had a relaxed, happy atmosphere.

Hunk was the first to leave, being the only one who'd been up all night. Pidge left right behind him, they all hoped it was to sleep, but they also knew Pidge would be up late into the night on their computer. Keith and Lance left Shiro with the two Alteans a while later. They were in an animated discussion about how to work around future missions with both the lions out of commission, and the switch. The two in question agreed it was a good thing to figure out, but not something they wanted to participate in.

Lance pulled Keith back and forth between their rooms a few times so that the could trade clothes and stuff. He didn't want to have to go to Keith's room every time he needed to change. Of course, the task could've been completed in one trip, none of them had more then the clothes they'd arrived in and a few miscellaneous items they'd managed to scrounge from around the castle, but it was Lance and Keith, and the simple chore devolved into playful bickering quite quickly.

By the time Lance was finally lying in bed in his pyjamas (well, Keith's pyjamas), his night routine done, he was exhausted. His anxiety usually made getting proper sleep a chore, but for once, between his episode last night, and the long day, he was out almost instantly.

 

 

Confusion flooded in when Lance opened his eyes. His room was still dark, his alarm quiet, his mind free of lingering nightmares. He didn't know why he was awake. Another knock ringing from his door answered that question. He held back a groan as he pulled himself from the warmth of his blankets and stumbled across the room. Who could it even be? Hunk and Pidge were the only ones that ever came by in the middle of night, but Hunk was certainly out cold in his bed, and Pidge usually just let themselves in. His confusion doubled when the door slid open to reveal a dishevelled, pyjama clad Keith back lit in the hallway.

"Uh..." Real intelligent.

Keith shook his head. "Sorry, I shouldn't've- I'm going to just- Jesus," He scrubbed at his eyes furiously and Lance realized they were red, he looked like he'd been crying. "I don't know why I came here, sorry, I'm going to- going to just go."

Lance grabbed his sleeve before he'd even managed to turn around, and pulled him into the room, closing the door behind them. "Fuck off Keith. I'm already awake. What's wrong?" Lance didn't know how to show- admit- express his concern for Keith, they'd never really addressed their rivalry. He wanted to be nice, every instinct in his body was trying to go into protective brother mode, but Keith wasn't his friend, not really. Hell, he didn't even like Lance. Did he? No, that was the sort of thought that wouldn't lead to anything but pain in the future. Lance pushed it all to the back of his head and sat Keith down on the edge of his bed, asking again what was wrong, a little softer this time.

"What's wrong? I don't know, maybe this freaky switch thing? Or this awful body- no offence Lance." Okay so that hurt a little, it took all Lance had not to withdraw his hand from Keith's shoulder, but the other teen looked like he needed the grounding, so he pushed that pinch in his chest away too. Keith was still talking. "Or finding out all this stuff about you. Just, thinking about stuff that I've dealt with and put away a long time ago already. I almost _did it_ again lance... I haven't in- fuck- in _years._ I think the only reason I didn't was because I'm in your body. And the _nightmares-_ It's like I'm right back there again." He rubbed at his eyes again, a harsh laugh that sounded more like a choked sob escaping him.

It took a second for what Keith had said to click. "Oh. _Oh_. Okay, but you didn't, right?"

"No, but I wanted to." Keith hung his head.

"But you didn't, that's something." Lance didn't want to get too much into his space by touching him, so he slid off the bed and kneeled in front of Keith, dipping his head to meet his eyes. "You'll be okay, you can get through this."

Keith let his gaze drop back to the floor, but didn't pull away from Lance's hands on his shoulder and wrist. "What if I can't?"

Lance's fingers tightened. "You have to, I'm the one who's messed up, remember? You're the cool one. Besides, I need my body back in good condition." He didn't know if he was saying remotely the right things, he wasn't usually on this end of this discussion, but he knew he didn't want to see Keith looking so completely shattered ever again.

"I'm not cool Lance. I'm broken. There's something fundamentally wrong with me, there has to be. There has to be a reason I keep screwing everything up." He started sobbing then, his shoulder's shaking as the tide went out. The display was shockingly and heart-breakingly quiet, Lance didn't want to think about how much practice he must have had hiding these sorts of breakdowns before to be so good at it.

Lance heaved himself back onto the bed and pulled Keith into his side, ignoring the way he tensed when Lance's arms circled around him. "You're okay. I promise. Nothing's wrong with you. Shit happens sometimes, and it sucks, all you can do is hold on and try to survive."

Keith slowly started to relax into Lance's hug, the shaking growing more violent before it started to calm. Lance just kept saying it would be okay, kept reassuring him that he would be fine. Ignored that this was probably what it was like for Hunk every time he broke down. Ignored the guilt and self-loathing that that thought didn't bring up because he definitely wasn't thinking about it.

At some point he managed to maneuver them further onto the bed so they could lie down. At some point Keith finally stopped, his energy running out, leaving him sound asleep. At some point lance must've also passed out because he wakes up later. But not before he lies awake thinking until his delirious brain lets him grab onto Keith's sleep-relaxed hand firmly. Not before the hopeless realization that Keith is _definitely not_ his rival flits across his drifting thoughts. Not before his half-dreaming mind seems to think Keith squeezes his hand back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so you could probably tell, but the angst train is rolling into the station for all kinds of characters now. Cry with me, I'm so sorry.) Also, I started this fic right after season one or two so it might start getting a little weird in the timeline (Matt is a beautiful bean okay and I can't imagine not putting him in this fic). 
> 
> But besides all that, I wanted to give you guys a little heads up because starting next chapter there will start to be some more explicit mentions and descriptions of abuse and self-harm, you could probably tell it was coming but yeah, I wanted to give you some warning. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> ~BlakBriar


	5. Extreme Emotional Baggage

Keith

 

When Keith woke up his head felt like it'd been through a trash compacter. His eyes were crusted shut. His fingers itched, twitching they way they always did when he needed his razor. _No._ He didn't need it, he wanted it, and that was different. He was different now. His pillow shifted, and Keith struggled a little further towards consciousness. He pushed himself up and the bed jerked, letting out a grunt.

Keith sprang up off the mattress. Or at least he tried to. His arms and legs were tangled around someone else's, sheets and blankets twisted hopelessly. He ended up half on the bed and half on the floor, sprawled out and spluttering.

Someone snorted above him. Lance's face peered down at him over the side of the bed. "What the heck Keith?"

Keith fumbled around until he managed to get back on the bed. He sat cross-legged across from Lance, making sure to leave a good couple feet between them. Remembering the feeling of Lance's closeness last night wasn't as awful as he was used to. It had actually been kind of nice. That thought only left him with more confusion though. The memories of his breakdown were slowly starting to filter back in, amping up the uncomfortable itch in his fingertips and making the prospect of more contact with Lance disconcerting but at the same time mandatory and unavoidable and _needed_. His last therapist on Earth had said that that sort of conflict in his thoughts was understandable and valid based on his past, but that he should try to push himself to accept physical affection when he could. There was no doubt in his mind that Lance would give him whatever coddling he asked for, but he didn't want Lance's pity. "I'm sorry about last night. I can just go-"

"What happened?" Lance cocked his head. Keith couldn't see what his arms looked like since he was wearing sleeves, but he looked a lot more lucid than he had yesterday. Keith didn't dwell on the way that made something relax inside him.

What had happened anyway? After him and Lance had split last night, he'd curled up in bed. He'd been exhausted, and it hadn't taken him long to fall asleep. And then... Oh, right, he'd had a nightmare, probably brought on by the memories that'd resurfaced while he'd been with Hunk and Lance.

Memories of his father, of laughing and playing catch in the yard, of working on their motorcycle, well, passing his dad tools and singing along to terrible country radio while his dad worked on the bike. Memories of the hospital, of the smell of sickness and bleach, of his dad's withering form in the hospital bed. But mostly, memories of family after family. Of the good ones that at first felt like a punch in the gut, an ugly imposter of his former life, then after he'd had actual punches and kicks thrown at him, felt like some sort of impossible haven a weakling like him didn't deserve. Of the bad ones, where the smell of alcohol and smoke and grease choked his lungs, where big swollen hands choked his neck. Of beatings and punishments. Of starving. Of being locked in all forms of small, dark places. Of the insults, the words sharper than any glass or blade. Of his own razor, leaving crisp lines of red and relief across his skin.

He couldn't tell Lance any of that. He couldn't tell this near stranger about how weak he was. How disgusting. He'd already said too much last night.

"Keith?" Lance's voice brought him hurdling back to the present. Deposited him in his body shaking and numb.

He watched his fingers twist and untwist in his lap, the black on his nails a welcome distraction. "It was just a nightmare, you know, no big deal."

"In my experience, they usually are actually." Keith ignored the soft tone Lance was using. It wasn't like he was some glass figure that would shatter at any second. That was the worst thing that seemed to follow him wherever he went. The pity.

He remembered teachers, counselors, social workers, all adults in positions of authority. All adults who looked at him like the saddest thing they'd ever seen, like he was some sort of abandoned puppy or kitten left out in the rain. All adults who said they cared, who cried over his confessions, who let him off easy because of his circumstances, who didn't ever do anything to change it. It made him want to punch something. The only thing worse were the adults who frowned at him when he tried to explain, who shook their heads at him and told him lying was bad, who berated him for accusing such kind people of committing such atrocities, who saw his bruises and told him he'd never get anywhere in life by fighting. Adults who didn't fucking believe him because he was a kid, and whatever guardian was beating him up was the parent.

Keith was once again brought back to the present by Lance, but this time it was by the hand he lifted to- logically, place on Keith's shoulder or knee- but his brain interpreted very differently. He felt his body flinching back before his thoughts could catch up to what was happening. A flash of hurt crossed Lance's face but it happened so fast Keith might have imagined it. Lance let his hands float palm out by his shoulders, the universal sigh for 'I surrender'. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I was just worried, you were zoning out."

"It's fine, I'm fine." Keith wasn't, his heart was racing, blood thundering in his ears. Even he could hear the shakiness of his voice. The itch in his fingers had resurfaced ten-fold and he had to clench his hands together tightly, fingernails pressing against skin in a useless attempt to mimic his razor's calming effect.

Lance slowly let his hands fall. "You don't have to be."

"I am! I'm fine..." Keith couldn't bring himself to look at the other teen, shame flaring through his body at the outburst.

"Tell me about it then. If you're so fine, tell me about what happened last night, about the nightmare. It obviously isn't bothering you." Lance stopped, took a breath, his next words were much quieter. "I won't say anything, I won't judge, you just have to talk to me, that's it." He still sounded frustrated and Keith honestly couldn't blame him, but it still caused equal parts irritation and fear to swirl in his stomach.

He clenched his teeth and ground out the same words he'd spit at Shiro and his family for the fist months of his stay with them, even if he knew it would only prolong the downward spiral. "I can't, not- not right now." By the time he'd been there a few weeks longer than he'd been anywhere in a long time (not that that was saying much by that point) he'd realized that the Shiroganes were different. Lot's of families had told him that before, but this family had actually kept him, despite his issues, and kept trying to break through. They had eventually, and well, the rest was history, but that had taken time, trust, so much effort on Shiro's part. Keith didn't know if he could go through that again, not with Lance, not right now.

"Fine, if you can't talk, then listen." Keith could tell Lance had crossed his arms, even without looking at him. "I'm number five. Out of seven. The only boy. Well I mean, not technically, right?" lance scoffed, and Keith was taken aback by the level of cynicism in his voice. "Anyway, with four older siblings, my parents weren't particularly overjoyed by my arrival. Of course, they loved me, I just mean, they'd already had four babies, they were content to let me struggle through with mostly the care of my older hermanas. I was in a pretty sad place in the family dynamic, my older hermanas had already covered all the big categories; smart one, funny one, sporty one, popular nice one. My parents had already gotten bored from mis hermanas' milestones. I didn't have a place. I didn't get celebrations for birthdays or graduations. There's a bit of a gap between me and the younger ones, and the twins are the babies of the family, so they're special in their own way. I was just this placeholder in the middle."

He fell silent for a moment. Keith forced his eyes up to see Lance hunched in on himself, blinking hard. It was weird seeing Lance like this, he didn't come off as insecure or unhappy, but Keith supposed he didn't particularly share his anxiety or the fact that he was trans, so Keith let him take a few shaky breaths to gather himself. After a minute he brought his gaze back up and laughed sheepishly.

"I'm making it sound a lot worse than it ever was. We all loved each other, and we all showed it all the time. My family was big and loud and obnoxious, I'm pretty sure people were jealous of us actually. I always felt a little left out, but it didn't really form into those thoughts until I was older, when the anxiety thing started happening." The smile dropped off his face. "That was when a lot of things started happening. Probably when I was about ten, when my older hermanas were starting to move out, get married, start lives and have kids, that's when I got bad. My eldest hermana had a baby boy, and I remember it was one of my first experiences with people besides my papá who weren't girls, mis hermanas and I all went to an all girls school, and I started realizing that I was more like him than mis hermanas. Dealing with those feelings and not knowing what they meant. Mis hermanas, my second parents practically, moving out. We moved too, not far, but it was still a different house. Trying to find a place in the family. It all got to me and I spiralled hard."

By this point Lance was the one staring at his hands in his lap. His voice was getting shaky and Keith could hear the way his breathing was trying to run away from him. Despite all the alarms that started going off in his head at the idea, he placed his hand face up on the bed between them, leaving it the few excruciating seconds before Lance latched onto it with his own.

"Thanks." Lance offered him a watery smile and Keith did his best to return it. "Anyway, it all got so bad that my parents had to pull me out of school. I spent a year going to therapy and trying all sorts of drugs, none of which seemed to work. My parents homeschooled me, and mis hermanas doted, but all the attention just made me feel like more of a failure. Eventually we found a medication that worked and with the anxiety finally easing up I made a few breakthroughs with my therapist. One of which was the way my perception of my place in the family hierarchy was the root of most of my problems. I never really got to figure that one out though because the other big revelation was my gender identity, and then everything just went to shit."

Keith didn't like the smile on Lance's face. The way it was almost a grimace, and the way it looked like he was laughing along to some joke he was the butt end of. This new side of Lance that was becoming more and more prevalent the last few days did not sit well with Keith. The cynicism, the sarcasm, the self-deprecation, it was all so different from his usual persona, Keith didn't want this beaten-down kid to be the real Lance. He wanted the happy, if somewhat annoying, jokester to be the real Lance. He pushed those thoughts away and focused back on Lance. He was shaking, whatever he was about say, it looked like he really didn't want to say it. Keith wanted to tell Lance that he didn't have to, but his voice was trapped. His therapist had called it some kind of mutism or something, it happened when he got worked up and panicky. So instead he ignored the increasingly strong fight or flight urges itching up his arm from his and Lance's connected hands and gave the other paladin's hand a reassuring squeeze.

Lance didn't meet his eyes this time, but he took a shaky breath. "You have to understand, my family's really catholic, especially my papá. It's just always been that way. I know that what I am is wrong, that it's shameful. I know I'm going to Hell for choosing to be this way. It was just hard hearing him say it, you know? I know I won't ever be able to really be a boy. I know I'm just some delusional girl, and some day I'm going to have to grow up and get over it. I _know_ that. Some part of me had really hoped that papá would change his mind though. That he wouldn't agree that I was disgusting, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, slow down, breathe. You're not- You're not disgusting Lance, Jesus, he said that to you?" Lance's rant seemed to be enough to finally shake Keith's voice out of it's cage. His panicked rush of words were horrifying, that was the sort of thing that happened in fiction, not to real people, not sweet, caring people, who'd never done anything in their life to deserve it.

Keith could tell Lance was using every trick he knew not to get swept up in his panic, including the death grip on his hand, so he pushed through his own discomfort. Lance brought his eyes up. "He only said what was true."

"And your therapist agreed with that too then?" Keith couldn't imagine that Lance actually thought that about himself. He refused to believe it.

"Well, no..." Lance looked away again. "She said I should be who I wanted to be, and that it was okay. She's actually the one who helped me pick Lance. She said that she 'couldn't very well call a handsome young man Lucia, now, could I' and asked me to bring in a list of ideas in the next couple of sessions. Of course, I didn't, so, two months later I showed up and she handed me a list of names and just gave me this look. By the next session she had a new patient; Lance McClain, and Lucia Sanchez was gone."

Keith smiled slightly. Relieved that Lance was pulling his hands away so he could wipe his face. Keith folded back into his own space and tipped his smile up to reassure Lance. "You know that you're not wrong, or disgusting, or anything like that, right?"

"Y-yeah," Lance returned the smile even though his eyes were still watery, "It took some time but, yeah... I know. It took a couple years to persuade my mamá, and eventually most of my family, but they came around too. Papá and some of my extended family are the only people that still deadname me- er- call me Lucia and use female pronouns and stuff, and papá grew out of knocking me around about it when mamá finally let me start binding last year. To be honest though, I think he just gave up, mamá barely had to fight to let me go to the Garrison as Lance. That was the first place I was officially a boy to anyone besides my therapist and my family."

There were a lot of things about that last part that had bothered Keith. The fact that it had taken a couple years for Lance to get even the smallest amount of support from his family for one. The fact that some of his family, especially his dad, still didn't accept him. He hadn't even been allowed to have a binder or tell people until last year. But the thing that really set Keith's pulse racing in his ears, made his hands clench into fists in his lap, was the knowledge that the man that was supposed to be Lance's father had ever laid a hand on him. He knew what getting knocked around could do to someone, especially if they already had issues, and he knew what that sort of quick dismissive tone Lance had used meant. Heaven knew he's used it enough himself. Keith's guess was that Lance's father had roughed him up, punished him, whatever, a lot more than a few times. He was yanked out of his dark thoughts by Lance laughing awkwardly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to dump it all on you like that. You're probably still upset about your own stuff too. I just wanted you to know you can trust me, I'm here to listen if you ever want to talk. It does help." He looked at Keith hopefully, Keith could see the other teen holding himself back, staying out of Keith's space.

He had the sudden urge to launch himself across the gap and wrap his arms around Lance tightly. Why was Lance being so nice to him? He didn't know what to think, he didn't know what to feel. This was usually when he stormed out, angry at himself for being so thrown off by something that was so easy for other people, and tried to find Shiro. Shiro always knew how to calm him down, he didn't want to do that to Lance though. The choking silence was rising back up in his throat, and he didn't know what to do, and he knew his inner conflict was obvious on his face because he could feel Lance holding himself back across the bed. Screw it, like his therapist said, contact and sharing to heal, right?

Keith tentatively pulled himself over beside Lance, one shaking breath after the other. Lance lifted his arms slowly, and Keith managed not to flinch this time. Lance didn't touch him, just opened his arms wide; a silent question. Before Keith could change his mind, he lurched forward and wrapped his arms around Lance's middle. His face found the crook between Lance's shoulder and neck. Lance wrapped his arms firmly but loose over Keith's shoulders and for once Keith didn't feel like he needed to get away. Lance was warm and steady, wrapped around him like a heavy blanket. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this relaxed, the constant tension he'd started to become accustom to dripped off him slowly. He still didn't feel like he'd be able to speak, the knot was there, but for once it wasn't suffocating. He didn't say anything, but he knew the way he balled his hands into Lance's shirt and let out a long sigh got his message across when Lance tightened his hold ever so slightly. _"_ _Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading! (sorry for the angst) love you guys!
> 
> ~BlakBriar

**Author's Note:**

> So that's that. Please comment if you so desire, criticism is welcome and encouraged :) I have the next chapter started already so hopefully my update schedule of a chapter every two weeks will hold. 
> 
> Thank you and BlakBriar out <3


End file.
